Let's play a game: Vehicle for an Enemy Edition

"BaconSandwich is tasty." (baconsandwich) 12/26/2014 at 16:54 • Filed to: LetsPlayAGame

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Let's play a game. The object of the game is to find a vehicle for sale on your local Craigslist/Kijiji that matches the criteria listed. Post a reply to this thread with either a link or a screenshot of the ad you've found. If you like someone's entry, star it. After a day or two, we'll take a vote - whoever has the most stars wins the round.

Round 1: Vehicle for an Enemy

Your goal is to find a vehicle for your worst enemy - something so hideous, repulsive, unreliable, or otherwise disgusting so as to inflict maximum pain on whoever has to drive it. The criteria are:
- It must be in driveable condition.
- It must be in your own local area (say, within a 200 km/125 mile radius of where you live).
- Ideally, there should have a picture of the vehicle. Not a requirement, but a recommendation.

I'll start by posting a reply...

BaconSandwich is tasty. > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/26/2014 at 16:57

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http://www.kijiji.ca/v-cars-trucks/…


Nothing says "short bus", like actually driving a short bus. It also looks like the cross-breed between a Chevy van, an aluminum canoe, and correctional facility prisoner transfer vehicle. Slow, hideous, and likely bad on gas.

saabstory | fixes bikes, breaks cars > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/26/2014 at 17:10

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I have 3 options.

The first is an obvious one: 1996 Geo Metro ( link )

It has a liiiiiittle bit of damage on the hood, but it drives!

The second choice is a 1979 Ford Mustang. ( link )

This is pretty self-explanatory.

The third is a little strange. It's an '88 Escort, butttt it has succumbed to the Seahawks bandwagon. ( link )

Kinja is going to screw my formatting, I just know it. These are all really shitty though, and I hate that Escort a lot.

T5Killer > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/26/2014 at 17:10

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https://a lbuquerque.craigslist.org/pts/4766825120.html

Shame its not running because a Catera would be the worst car ever.

Mr. FiSTer of Team FiST Fetish > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/26/2014 at 17:13

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http://ramstein.bookoo.com/i/51084687

It may look like the E46 we know and love but this one is special, it's a 316i! Comes with just over 100 HP and is slow as balls, great cloth seats, and almost guaranteed cooling problems down the road. I actually owned a similar car, an E46 318i and that car was terribly slow so I can only imagine that this is worse.

Tohru > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/26/2014 at 17:20

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I ran the gamut with this before finding a winner to beat all other challengers.

My mind first went to ugly and driving tedium , then went to the most awful convertible ever made , then to the most boring wagon ever made. The problem was that they all had something redeeming about them. I had to find something with no redeeming qualities.

That's when I found this :

This is a 1991 Alfa-Romeo 164 5-speed sedan, with a DIY all-electric conversion. Which means where the (inevitably broken) 2.0L Twin Spark would be is a 120V forklift motor and janky wiring. Where the load space in the trunk should be is a pile of lead-acid batteries and a battery charger.

The current owner is asking $4000 for this.

I don't think you can top this.

promoted by the color red > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/26/2014 at 17:21

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Nothing says "Kill me" quite like a salvage titled Cavalier, built when GM was pretty sure gas would stay cheap forever and the Toyota Corolla was a passing fad.

Yours for only $3500!

http://stockton.craigslist.org/cto/4791530073…

coelacanthist > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/26/2014 at 17:55

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http://austin.craigslist.org/cto/4810728583…

My eyes!

yamahog > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/26/2014 at 18:20

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97 Ford Aspire. Ugly as sin, already crunched, former daily driver of a teenager, with some nice body rust, an interior that looks like it's being used as a trash can, and to top it off: a cracked rear brake line ! Perfect for your enemies!

http://detroit.craigslist.org/mcb/cto/481926…

BaconSandwich is tasty. > coelacanthist 12/26/2014 at 21:55

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Like a Reliant Robin... but worse!

BaconSandwich is tasty. > promoted by the color red 12/26/2014 at 21:55

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Truth be told, I think that's nicer than my wife's Cavalier...

BaconSandwich is tasty. > Tohru 12/26/2014 at 22:28

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That's definitely got my pick so far.

Tohru > coelacanthist 12/26/2014 at 22:32

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That might be worse than the electric Alfa 164 I found.

Sweet Trav > BaconSandwich is tasty. 12/27/2014 at 07:25

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http://detroit.craigslist.org/wyn/cto/479608…

1978 pinto, ugly as sin, under powered four cylinder. Leaks coolant, exhaust has fallen off, and bonus fire-y death when inevitably hit from behind when it stalls out somewhere.